Wrinting here from the nice, comfy seat of KTM Komuter heading to Shah Alam. Quite hot, flaming and burst with anger yet happy, satisfied and glad.
Nevertheless, the coolness of the komuter’s air-cond doesnt cool me at all. (But the nice spicy pedas tomyam really burnt my anger!!)
But now i will focused to the hatred side first. I actually not really angry/mad, but ‘a lil bit disappointed feat. hatred, anger and madness’. Huhaha. Sounds kinda like the title of a song.
I disappointed because in this reality, modern and sophisticated lifestyle there exists some people who really didnt know the true meaning of ‘professionalism’. Some people tought that just by doing some occasion or things formally, they will be called as ‘professional’. By giving order and having somebody executing the order, they are ‘professional’.
I think i better story about it directly. It’s about our once-and-ever so called grande de dineur a.k.a Grand Dinner, which will be held at Hotel UiTM this weekend. I humbly would said that i have nothing to do with it, only an ordinary student who will attend it as a compulsary occasion. I DO NOT take part in anything nor being a part of the commitee.
Early in the part, i was being asked for a help, help to create a montage presentation for the dinner. I GLADLY agreed because creating anything multimedia and anything regarding with computers and I.T. is indeed my hobby, my expertise~!! I have no problem in doing it as a part-time task, as my hobby.
And yet last week, i was given another order from somebody whom i even not acknowledge as any ‘leader’~!! OK, it actually not an order, it’s just a voice of asking some help regarding their favor.
That person requested me to find songs (i don’t know why she asked me, perhaps she thought of me as a songs collector..) Yes, i do have the songs she needed but she asked for more. Asking me to find another version of the songs, which have the voices removed or the midi version.
At this point, i no longer could help them. ‘Doing’ things that others can’t do, is in my interest, but ‘finding’ something which i know even they capable to find it themselves….that’s another point.
So earlier i deny that ‘request’. ok, she accepts the mp3 version. (And she agreed to this last weekend).
What i am really mad now is, at the time when i spent my happy time with my family, there came another ‘order’, needing me to abandon my family, return to them, just to hand in the mp3’s~!!
Hey, i’m not your servant~!! I ain’t anybody’s servant, except Him~!!
"Kid, for the sake of our Grand Dinner!!"
Go to he** with it~!! For the sake of grand dinner?? I tell you earlier, even the montage, i do it for the sake of my hobby~! My own interest~!! And now you’re asking me to do something which i know i aint capable to do so (and none of you know it!!)
I would love to emphasized here, that i’m doing things, anything, for the sake of my own~!! I do help people, people whom i know will appreciate whatever helping i gave. I don’t do anything which against my interest, none of my benefits nor causing me some loss.
As for the montage. I hereby declare again, i only do the montage, as my hobby! Only the montage part! Not the filming, the camcorder, the music, the pictures etc.
Here i give all of you the professional way of requesting help. I was being asked to do the montage. So, supposedly, all materials about it should have been handed to me earlier, pazhaluysta~!! I am not in favor to surfing the friendster profile of my friends finding pictures, carrying camcorder to filming taekwondo practice nor searching for two songs that will be used (though have nothing to do with the montage~!!) at all!!! These all materials should be handed to me earlier.
That’s why i have said before, "Sesape yg ada gambar hand in ar kat aku. Baru aku boleh buat." "Aku buat dengan apa yang aku ada je..so apa benda yang korang nak ada dalam montage tu bagi la kat aku."
And i’d waited. Till the end of last week, none of the materials were given to me (except several pictures from a cd). And i know my dateline is getting nearer, time is running out.
And i did something which i know i didnt supposed to do it. Finding the materials, all by myself.
At this point, the task which should be in my favor, my hobby, turns out to somthing which i absolutely hate, which i do it just because i agreed to do so earlier.
And i have to admit that, i do it, recklessly.
So what else can i say? Order by order i kept receiving although i’m not supposed to it. All based on the "for the sake of our Grand Dinner".
I really love helping people. I stand firmly on my principe of mannerism, basis on Karma, "You get what you give". But i really hate doing something i hate. Or for someone whom i hate. Or for the sake of something which have nothing to do with myself.
All of you should notice that, no matter what happen, i am not the one should be blamed to. Why? Because i am NOT a part of the commitee, i bear no responsibility to the guild, i gave no oral direct consent nor signed any agreement of any duty that was handed to me.
So, all the stuffs that i did, was intentionally to help, not carrying my duty. I lighten the ‘task’ weight of those ‘flagbearers’ but not their responsibility. If anybody don’t like my masterpiece, nor not satisfied, then they do not have any right to comment it. If they think they could do it better, than do so! Don’t cause me any trouble at first.
And if anyone trying to drag me into the battlefield, i just simply said that "I am nobody. I just help them. I have not been given any position in the commitee therefore i bear no responsibilities. If anything occurs, then those who have the authority or those who ‘pretend’ to have it, should bear it.
Ironically I know, even after this, there would be people who criticized my work, instead of appreciating it. There would be people who will talking behind my back of how bad i did my job, bragging and boasting that they could have done it better.
Well, as i said before, if you really want it, than do it all by yourself. And be prepared to be critized.
I really want to do it for the sake of our Grand Dinner, but the way you requested my help, the way you ‘ordering’ me, is kinda rude. Is not professional at all.
And the rudest in my opinion is the request to abandon my family just because they are lazy to find those mp3’s on their own~!! For your information, last night my family was having our own ‘grand dinner’, consisting of all family members except my 2nd brother. Do all of you have any idea, how hard is it for my family to gather up? My brother working hard to save money for his wedding, my father and mother lives farnorth at the Pengkalan Hulu, yet me studying here in INTEC! Mi inagda bstrecayem semyiu!! And last night was an oppurtunity, but yet i have to ruin it just because a lazy girl!
OK, i’ve done talking about all of you. How your credibility as a ‘pseudo’leader is being questioned. And i must say that, momocking a leader doesnt make you any professional..so stop pretending.
This week is the most’guilt-feeling’ week i have ever had. I believe, last sunday was the day which i caused most trouble to my family. My family spend almost rm2000 for my winterclothing, bags, shoes, books and so on. And i felt very guilty out of it.
Yet this sense of feeling burnt my spirit. I’ll prove to them that these rm2000 is going to worth a LOT. I’ll prove it to them, that they would not regret spending that much money for the sake of their son, me.
And here, only about 2 weeks more from the date, i have already could sense the heat, the heat of challenge. The oversea’s challenge.
I believe i can fly~!!