what a bored night~!! All i can do is just surfing craps, listening to same old 784 songs, doing nothing.. Study? Tomorrow got only history of medicine at 10.30 am..got no mood at all to study. why no mood? …well, here is one of my research, to be read…
LOVE : Why we love somebody? The general answer can be defined in sociology philosophy, religion point of view, or based on scientific and statistical analysis??
…”NGF level was significantly higher (p<0.001) in the subjects in love [mean (SEM): 227 (14) pg/ml] than in either the subjects with a long-lasting relationship [123 (10) pg/ml] or the subjects with no relationship [149 (12) pg/ml]. Notably, there was also a significant positive correlation between levels of NGF and the intensity of romantic love as assessed with the passionate love scale (r=0.34; p=0.007). No differences in the concentrations of other NTs were detected. In 39 subjects in love who—after 12–24 months—maintained the same relationship but were no longer in the same mental state to which they had referred during the initial evaluation, plasma NGF levels decreased and became indistinguishable from those of the control groups.”
 NGF : Nerve Growth Factor, based on research of Italian scientists from Pavia University in Dec 2005 of finding correlations between the NGF and love.
Ok, that’s according to scientific research. Now let’s see this:
Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealously unyielding as the grave.
It burns like a blazing fire,
like a mighty flame. [like the very flame of the LORD?]
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.” [8:6-7, NIV]
- The passage dodi li v’ani lo (my beloved is mine and i am his [Song of Songs 2:16]) is often engraved on wedding bands.
- “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
- “O ye are those who Love them though they Love you not , and ye believe in all the Scripture . When they fall in with you they say : We believe ; but when they go apart they bite their finger tips at you , for rage . Say : Perish in your rage! Lo! Allah is Aware of what is hidden in ( your ) breasts .” Quranul Karim – 3.119 .
- “Beautified for mankind is Love of the joys ( that come ) from women and offspring , and stored up heaps of gold and silver , and horses branded ( with their mark ) , and cattle and land . That is comfort of the life of the world . Allah! With Him is a more excellent abode .” Quranul Karim – 3.14
What about social philosophy? Well, it differs from individuals. Some considered love as sacrifices. Some choose ‘love’for the means of sexual desire. Some seek love just because their friends are in love.
Ok, enough about facts. The next statements onwards are basis on my personal opinion, with some distorted view of classifying love, and biased thought of making any assumption. No offense, i’m a human, you’re human, we all human. So we all have our own perspective of love, it’s just you want to take it out or not. You are most welcomed to comment and state your own opinion.
As for me, love is meant to be searched, but not to be hunted. Why? We seek love for the sake of our own good. Hunting love would ended by killing it, and by killing such desirable, crucial element of life would means the end of a happiness.
Let me make myself clear. Yes, you can seek for love as far as you want, but never ever get yourself trapped in delusion, that would eventually turns you into a human being which no longer have faith in Love. I nearly trapped myself many times before. Love is something which is not reality. It is an abstract, we can sense its presence, we can sense when it leaves, when it’s been broken. And when we have this feeling of love too emphatically, and love itself immersed inside our body, our mind, can you imagine when it is broken?
Therefore, love somebody, equally, balancely. Neither me nor anybody would worth die because of love. Because love is just an abstract element~!! It’s still have this kind of uncertainty value, which can come and go anytime, by God’s will~!!
By deep meaning, love alone actually is not a powerful element.. By loving somebody, it doesnt guarantee the happiness. By loving somebody, and being loved, also doesnt guarantee a happy ending. There are another element that promote the strength of love, which is ‘Trust’.
“Trust” is much more difficult to achieve, compared to love. Creating a bond of trust between two loving couple is much, much harder than creating the bond of love. “I Love You” is a simple direct-meaning undoubtable quote, which can be measured while “I trust you” requires more than words to prove it.
Here is an example of difference between love and trust.
A father and his daughter walk along the street until they reach a slippery bridge. As they’re crossing the bridge, the father said to her daughter, “Walk slowly, hold my hand tight..”. And her daughter replies, “No father, you hold my hand tightly”.
Could you notice what’s the difference between ‘the father holds her hand’ or ‘she holds her father’s hand’. The answer would be the difference between of trust and love. I aint gonna tell you the answer, try to figure it out.
In order to create ‘trust’, there are a lot of factors to be considered. The time span of which you have known somebody is often used to evaluate the ‘trust level’. Which is much more likely to be trusted : Men or women? There is no valid answer for that question.
However, to promote trust, requires lots of other elements. Trust comes along with commitment. Commitment means a two-way interaction, which have to be give-and-take, and not to be selfish nor irritative. It doesnt show a good commitment when there’s only a guy who kept calling his girlfriend. And it also doesnt show a good commitment if both parties keep in silence, which eventually blurred the love itself.
And again, yet this is a very subjective point, depends individually. Some individual, such me, require constant commitment over time in order to build trust. And for the others, might need minimum commitment to make them trusting their partner.
And in order to maintain a level of trustworthy which is enough to promote love, another element is required. “The understanding”. To understand your partner means to know the level of commitment you have to give to him/her. We must know whether whatsoever things that are done, meet the requirement level of the other party in order to make him/her to trust us! And again, for men especially, women are hardly to show their satisfactory upon the commitments men gave to them. They almost did not give any clues! And therefore, we must make sure whatsoever commitment that we lay on them, is sufficient.
However, women are from venus and men are from mars. Women are the most complex creature in the universe. For some women, too much commitment would results in excess care, and so-called-‘rimas’ reaction. And as for the others, lack of commitment would create this sense of curiosity in their mind, which eventually lead to mistrust and destruction of love.
On the other hand, from a sincere heart of a man, he will do anything in order to make sure his partner is satisfied with the commitment he gave. Though might denying it, but deep in that man’s heart, he also wish the same. And sometime when he gives much commitments, actually it means that he requires a feedback from his partner. And when his partner doesnt response, he will have this kind of ‘being left off’ feeling.
“I did a lot of things to her, but it seems like she doesnt appreciate any at all.”
And this kind of feeling, are closely related to other element called : Faith. A constant element relating a person with the Creator, and by His willing to make sure that this love story is going to have a happy ending or not.
What happened when a guy bounds the passion of commitments in himself? The feeling of not going to give and waited to be responded from his partner? Another feeling that branches up from the main feeling of love is : Miss. ‘Miss’ (Rindu, I miss you, missing you) is a feeling of desperation, bounded by sanity therefor not extreme enough to cause much physical action and reaction. The feeling of needing the partner, is often being felt by loving couples. However, in some cases, the feeling of desperation can go wildly as the person loses control of sanity, which might lead to psychological suffer.
The chemistry of love is yet to be unfold. Lots of factors, inner and external which might affecting the quality of love itself, easily. It’s easy to say “I love you” but in order to prove it, might requires a lifetime. However,as long as the elements of Patience and Faith is holded firmly, then the other element of Understanding, Commitments will be built slowly, promoting Trust and eventually reach the topmost level of love : True Love.
Source : Wikipedia.org, Innerself.com
This paperwork research is created by Mohd Syamirulah Rahim for publishing in Leokid’s Life only.