Winter : Holiday vs Exam?

Hu~ It’s been really quite a long time since the last time i jotted something in this blog. Though i said that I’m going to edit the post below (Pandangan) to make it longer, in the end there isn’t any epiphany coming to me regarding that.

Well, to some of my friends who’ve been IM’ing and emailing me asking whether i’m still alive or capable to write in this blog, don’t worry. Though the temperature’s outside nearly -20, I’m still okay here, only a bit frozen. Hehehe.

Okay, here it goes. Hm…the thing is, i hardly find some leisure time to write something. As usual, there’s a lot of things running in my mind, which can be some good points to be written here actually. But guess that those things have actually stuck, clogging my brain already.

One of the things that have been running in my mind, even now : Exam. Yeah, while exam is within a month’s time, I’m sure the colour of my face, if not total-blue, is really pale, as white as ghost.

Two exams this semester : Anatomy and Histology. The two subjects which are the basis foundation of a medic course – waaaa~ I guess that these 2 would be among of the hardest, toughest obstacles in my medic life here in Nizhny. Huhu. And the worse part is, i found myself still unable to give my full commitment towards it. Though i was well-known to be the last-minute-self study person among my friends in MRSM, but to study only during the final moments for 2 subjects which rely TOTALLY in memorizing & identifying instead of understanding? Haha. Guess that I’ll just swing towards the pitch as hard as possible, praying to Allah so that He sends the wind which will give me a home run..inshaAllah.

Second thing: About the winter holiday. Haha. I’m a reckless, hasty, daredevil person. And I love to schedule n plan almost everything. And early this winter, I’ve already come out with a 7-days plan of Eurotrip to Paris and Switzerland for the winter holiday! Well, I’ve mention in one of my posts a year ago, about my eagerness and enthusiasm to visit Paris. And this winter, I’m so much optimist that the plan will be carried out!

However, since a week ago, i have this kind of feelings. Hmm…i think i didn’t want to go to Europe this winter. Well, yes, it’s about the money. It’s not that i didn’t have the budget needed, as a matter of fact, I’ve already come out with a RM6000-budget plan for the winter holiday and currently completing more than half of that value. So money is definitely not a problem whether i want to spend my holidays in Paris, Geneva, Spain, Ireland, or even Syria (yes i got a lot of invitations this winter. ) Yet, i canceled my trip, leaving only my roommate Firdaus with other 5 friends to go to Paris. Meaning, I’ll continue hibernating in my room while my friends enjoying their eurotrip. Hehe.

So, what’s the feeling about money? Hmm.. It’s just that i have a foreseen that i might be needing that money later. I don’t know for what purpose, it’s just a wild instinct. Might be for a Core2Extreme machine I’ve long so much, but might be not. It’s just a hunch that i will need the money for something reeeally important. Hmm…

Set the wanderness aside, the third thing going in my mind : Hmm..i wish i can write here directly openly, but it’s just too personal. Hehe. Furthermore, it’s not something that has been confirmed, nor will it promise good outcomes. I know this blog is for myself, with lantak-kat -aku-le-nak-tulis-ape policy, but I’m kinda afraid to promise myself a good outcome, because when and only when it doesn’t (God forbid), it would hurt me more. A saying I’ve been telling myself since a long time ago – Lagi tinggi harapan seseorang, lagi sakit bila jatuh.

Haha. Guess that this post is getting more and more mysteriously embedded towards the end of it. Don’t worry, just ignore the previous paragraphs if u didnt understand.

Now let’s see…how to make this post to be more interesting? Hmm..let’s try it with this poem:

a lot of opportunity came in our life.
We need to choose either grab it or drop it.

the opportunity just came once.
it may change our life.
it doesn’t change anything.
we can’t decide what the right decision to be made.

we need help to make decision.

nobody can help us.
Sometimes…when we lose it, we’ll regret.
Sometimes…when we grab it, we had a joy.
Sometimes…we just waiting it to be true.
Sometimes…it came when we need it.
Sometimes…it never come although we wish for it.

So, when it come, choose the right decision and grab it as you wish for…

I Really Need To Make An Important Decision.

So please, my friends, readers, pray to Allah so that He grant me sufficient time and thoughts, and may the decision I’ll make is the best for me, for people around me and for my future.

Yang kaler yellow tu aku tulis sendiri. Well, it’s not a decision actually, it’s something i’m going to do for sure, inshaAllah. It’s just a matter of time. And i really hope it will work out. That’s why i’m gonna need lots and lots of prayers not only from me, but from u’all too. Thanx in advance.

Sorry there ain’t nothing i could give to return the favor, only a small honest prayer from myself that may Allah grant u’all a great life, a great future, and the best for u fid dunya wal akhirah.



5 thoughts on “Winter : Holiday vs Exam?

  1. hey..
    whatever ur ketak’sure’an ur decision might lead to..
    ak doakan slmt.
    hehe..baik la plak ak rini

    Leokid: heheh..thanx sheda. actually, the question is, “should i grab that opportunity or not?” that’s the decision i have to make. huhu. wallahua’lam..

  2. salam syam.

    there u go. finally u called it a cancel to a long list that u have. just the same that ks did. i’ll be hibernating here in my room. with a but. im not going to waste it for free. i take this holiday as a chance for me to rearrange my life. which means i want to study for the sake of my final year that is coming so soon. a year doesn’t mean long anymore. thus, preparation is the best remedy to tear away the spasm in my abs. thinking of final year, i feel like shrinking straight away and dreaming of becoming a 1st year nerd again. aaaa.. scary! nope. double scary it is! so, if u feel like tagging anyone to moscow, just feel free to do it. i can bring u to some other places that i’m sure u never been before. hihi. do pay 200% attention on ur exams 1st. they need more than attention. they need passion and doa :) all the best. my doa is always there for u.

  3. Pingback: Pre Exams - Post Exams - Pre Holiday « Leokid’s Life

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